Thursday, June 23, 2005

i know the pieces fit

I have all the pieces I just am trying to figure out how they all fit.

I met a guy named Ben earlier, he came in to apply for work. Usually we have applicants fill out a short application form and make an appointment for an orientation from there. The whole process should take 5 minutes. I ended up talking to Ben for a half hour.

He is young, probably a couple of years younger than me. He was in the Army for 7 years, until he had a schizohrenic episode. He wasn't aware he was schizophrenic, although he disclosed he had been feeling some weirdness and obessiveness, and never thought that schizophrenia was a possibility until he was in a psych ward with bandages on his wrists and over 1000 pages of engineering and math computations written. Apparently somewhere after the military and psych ward, before the next time he went into the psych ward he was homeless, and taught himself everything there is to know about a computer, inside and out, on line and off line. He's about to sell one of his computers (he has 2) so he can cover his living expenses, he has been out of work for a few years, with the exception of picking up some per diem work with people who need personal web pages developed.

He had so much to say, and was very intense. I probably should have cut our conversation short, but I couldn't, I physically wasn't able to and I didn't want to. Ben was very well dressed, looked sharp and was an attractive man. He was very intelligent, possibly one of the most intelligent people I have ever met. He showed me a scar on his wrist and I could see the conflict, worry and anxiety in his eyes. He was probably afraid I would judge him (I only judged him to be an incredible individual, that I am glad I had the brief crossing in paths with).

I refrain from sharing personal stuff with the applicants because I could talk to over a hundred people a day, and it can take a mental toll, I have my own share of baggage that I suppress so I can do my job and function in life. But that's a whole other blog entry.

I set him up to come in tomorrow. I hope we can put him to work, I would really like to help him.

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