Wednesday, August 17, 2005

hot lava

Well, it seems our house is aware that we haven’t been faithful. Behind our house’s back, we have sought out a possible long term relationship with a smaller, svelte, one bedroom duplex. It has everything the house can offer, but is nicer looking, more accommodating, and cheaper.

As a result, we are beginning to endure our house’s passive wrath. First, the refrigerator crapped out on Sunday. The technician should be coming by today to fix it (we’ll see what actually happened later). The kitchen faucet only works via the valve turnoff (and on) under the sink. Marcus’ fat cat butt squeezed through a hole in the screen door, making it a gaping maw gateway in which every insect in a square mile radius must pass through. I noticed yesterday or the day before that our basement flooded, and it may or may not be related to running the washing machine. That’s okay; I don’t have to do wash. I’ll just sniff test everything in the morning, and put my shirts and suits back on hangers after I get home from work.

Just when I thought that things can’t get worse, I noticed Ric meticulously cleaning the floor behind everywhere he’s walked through our house.

“Did you walk through the water in the basement at all?” Ric inquired.

“Why no, I didn’t want to get my shoes wet, so I hopped around to get what I needed down there.”

“Good,” Ric replied, “The water down there is sewage back up. Don’t walk in it, and definitely don’t track it through the house.”

Gross.

Remember the Hot Lava game you’d play as a kid? If you don’t, let me refresh your memory. The object is to not touch the floor, which is hypothetical Hot Lava. You can achieve this by hopping on furniture, tables, stacks of phone books, whatever is around that is a buffer on the floor. We would get creative over big expanses of floor, and throw pillows around and hop from pillow to pillow.

I had to get some things in the basement this morning and Hot Lava’ed to my hanging and dry laundry, a couple of my tools, and some CD’s. I did not use the pillow method; I just relied on the available furniture and milk crates.

1 comment:

GrapeNut said...

hahahahaha pillow method!

ewwww, sewage backup. had that happen in that apartment we lived in when you came up for mike's wedding number one. that was totally gross! goodluck!