Friday, June 29, 2012

not at this address

I haven't talked about my junk mail lately but it's still arriving in full force, it's a mix of advertisements and solicitations that I'll never look at and mail to people who don't live at this address. In today's installment of "how much of the mail is actually ours," we have something from Minnesota Life regarding someone named Valerie's current Accidental Death and Dismemberment insurance.

Valerie hasn't lived at this address in years! I have lived on this block since 2005 and I think Valerie lived in this place before we moved to this neighborhood. That's how long she's been gone. 

I've been getting tons of mail that doesn't belong to me for years now. It's really crazy; there's been times I've collected a huge pile of it, went down to a post office, waited in life for ever and then handed it all over to a bewildered looking mail clerk, explaining that I keep getting this but these people don't live here. I can see a gleam in hesitation in these clerk's eyes but I just leave the bag or stack of mail up there and take off. I think I've done that about 4 times now and I still continue to get a barrage of mail that doesn't belong to me. It really gets me concerned about my own mis-delivered mail. I mean, how much of it is some other random person getting? and are they also, like me, collecting a pile of it and every quarter or so go down to their local post office branch and turn the stack over? or are they a-holes, and do they just throw it out, or worse yet open it and obtain more information about me. Am I being secretly stalked? 

I've complained about different aspects of mail delivery in the past. The junk mail itself is overwhelming. I've never been pre-selected for so much crock scammery in my life! 

The wrong person/address stuff is especially disconcerting. Last January I didn't receive a ticket that was supposedly mailed to me (one of those BS photo radar things, but we'll visit that in another blog) and I'm left wondering if someone else received it and threw it out. What's the quality assurance program at the USPS look like? I'd like to get some quality control in my zip code please. 

We used to have an awesome mailman named Stan. Stan the mailman was everything you expected a mailman to be. As if he just walked off of the set of Sesame Street, he was friendly, stopped to engaged in small talk but didn't talk for too long, and also paid attention to things like misaddressed mail and leaving packages out of sight instead of in plain view and easily steal-able in the time between delivery and when I get home from work. Stan left this route because he got a transfer into his own neighborhood. He was really excited about that and I can't blame him. We've had a few mailmen since Stan that are completely devoid of personality and don't make eye contact. It just hasn't been the same and whenever the current mailman crams the mail into my box so tight that I can't get it out, I am so tempted to smear dog shit under his vehicle door handle.

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